Good morning! Please read Job 30 and Job 31. I’ll share a little thought – again, I’m just hitting a few personal “highlights”, not offering a daily play-by-play. Something different may stand out to you, and that’s great – that’s the Lord speaking to your heart in a way that is specific to you! I’m so glad we are on this journey together, friend!
I feel like Job is searching for a reason for the trauma in his life and he is willing to take responsibility if it was due to his own choices.
“Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood,
or hung out in the company of deceit?
Weigh me on a set of honest scales
so God has proof of my integrity.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow,
wanted things I had no right to,
messed around with sin,
Go ahead, then—
give my portion to someone who deserves it” (31:5-8 MSG)
Sometimes in trauma, we ask ourselves a question: “did I bring this on myself?”, and that’s not wrong. We need to be honest with ourselves and with the Lord, and sometimes we do make choices with adverse effects. In those cases, our circumstances are actually our consequences. However, sometimes we experience pain and hardship simply because we live in a fallen world, through no fault of our own (that’s what Job is experiencing – life in a fallen world). In either situation, we must remain faithful to God. He always remains faithful to us!
p.s. it doesn’t matter if you are in a trauma that was created by you or in a trauma that was created for you – God is working to restore and heal you always!